a long time coming

I am shocked to visit my own blog and see that it's been three months since my last post! A few reasons for this... this summer Blair was home a lot more and therefore I had fewer reasons to find creative outlets for my madness. We were busy, traveling, swimming, playing and sun-shining, and there always seemed to be something to do or visitors to be had. That said, we're now into the rainy, chilly days of State College fall and I'm ready to do a little more personal blogging!

Of course as I start this, Ava just woke from her nap! Sigh. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm alive and well. And, that there has been movement since my last post about Etsy. I have finally finished my first prototype (I had to redo the whole design for my pack 'n play panels in order to make them sellable) and my friend Erin will be testing them for me. Once she gives me the ok, I'll be making a few to have on hand and then do custom orders via Etsy. I've been working hard these last couple months on getting my website up and running, designing a logo and the like. Pretty exciting! I'll be sure to let you know when I launch the site!

Etsy

One of my latest projects was making panels for the sides of our pack n' play for when we travel. Mom's know, especially once your kids get older the distractions of sleeping in a new place can be so enticing. So, this is what I came up with: two panels, both of which snap at the bottom or roll up and tie.

I posted pictures of the finished product on facebook and got a lot of comments from other moms about how great of an idea this was and how I should market it. I said thanks and yeah, yeah, until two different people suggested selling them on Etsy.

For a couple of years I've known about Etsy.com, an ebay of sorts for those selling homemade goods. It is incredibly intimidating though, many of the things sold are of professional quality and there's a lot I don't know about the whole process. Do I really need to make twenty different panels so that I have them on-hand in the hopes that someone will stumble upon my site? And when someone orders something, especially a custom job, what if I'm out of town or sick or whatever... I'm definitely not a savvy business woman, ready to pump out the products and head to UPS. I imagine there are other sellers like me on there, just stay-at-homers who came up with a unique idea, but it seems scary.

My question to any of you who have used Etsy before is, is this something I could really do? The extra cash would be great and I have my evenings free at home while Blair works anyway. Why not sew! I'm just picturing this being a moderate investment that doesn't go anywhere or I get horrible reviews because a seam isn't straight or something. The perfectionists worst nightmare! Let me know your thoughts...

"Peecum?" Let's Pray.

As you all know I've been struggling with feeling close to God and keeping my spiritual center centered since I had my baby girl. I've half-heartedly tried a lot of things to make God a part of my daily life again in a way that really helps me grow. I say half-heartedly because I felt like I didn't even have the time or energy to put any real change in motion. I needed something new and something to motivate me.

Little did I know, that motivator would be my daughter! The last few weeks Ava has learned to pray and often four or five times throughout meals will cross her arms over her body and look up at me, "Peecum?". I say, "Do you want to pray?" and she says, "Yeah!". So we pray. Usually for our food, thanking God for mommy, daddy, Ava and whoever or whatever else we think of. And at the end we get a cute, "Amen" from the little squeaker. I thought it was adorable and didn't think much of it until I realized this week that I'm actually feeling closer and more connected to God simply by thanking him for a few small things throughout the day! Who knew. It isn't a lot, but God's so blessing that time and drawing me closer to him. I am so grateful and I am even more in awe of how he's continuing to bless and surprise me through Ava. What a darling, sweet little heart, who doesn't know who Jesus is but still loves to read her Bible and pray to him all the time. It is magical to watch his name become a part of her vocabulary and to watch the whole revelation of Jesus from start to finish.

Thank you Jesus for my beautiful baby girl, for her heart for you and for all things good, and for using her to draw me closer to you.

Basement Bath Overhaul!

When we moved into our current home, I was very pregnant and very sick and couldn't have cared less about our basement bathroom. I told my mom to paint it the same off-white that we used in the foyer (which has also since been repainted) just to get it in working order. Since, we have made few changes and have actually had three different tenants use it over the last two years! After Linda, our latest tenant, moved out in May, I have been itching to make that bathroom more welcoming for our future renters and guests. Here is my project, done! It is SO gratifying and I now just LOVE it down there, a room that I used to avoid! And, might I add, this amazing transformation cost us a total of only $55!

BEFORE

AFTER

Wall color: Wal-Mart's Color Place paint in Pale Spruce $12. Since this isn't our main bathroom, using a cheaper all-purpose indoor paint will still last for a few years without chipping or bubbling.

Shower Curtain: Bed Bath and Beyond, though I saved $10 by buying on Ebay! Cost $30 after shipping.

Wall shelf: Target $14.99

I couldn't be happier with how it turned out, especially on such a low budget. I was motivated to finish it before our next renter moves in in August, now on to painting our upstairs bathroom and all my other projects... :)

Latest project to-do: A fixed roman shade

Even though my to-do list is still long, I've added a new project to it! I saw this on a blog I follow and am in love. I LOVE the look of Roman shades but nice ones (especially ones with a decent pattern) are so expensive and hard to find. I've been wanting some type of valance in our kitchen forever and ta da! I found this tutorial on how to make a fixed roman shade. A sewing project even I could master. In our kitchen, a fully functioning roman shade isn't necessary so this will be a great solution for me. I've never liked the dated look of any kind of valance so this is a great find--a half curtain that has the style of a whole one!

I still need to pick a fabric for ours which will be tough but I'm excited for the challenge. I am very picky when it comes to fabric but when I perused Joann's selection yesterday there looked to be some good options. The hard part will be finding something that will match now AND match whatever kitchen's we move into in the future, but I'll see what I can do.

For those interested in making your own, here is the how-to:

http://flythroughmywindow.blogspot.com/2009/06/fixed-flat-fold-roman-shade.html

Other projects I'm thinking about: I need to cover our existing couch pillows. I LOVE them and the fabric but they are falling apart, literally. They have button pulls in the middle and one-by-one they've started popping off or back into the pillow, a choking hazard waiting to happen. I'm so sad to see this fabric go though and will have a very hard time finding a replacement, I'm sure.

Did you know that amazon.com has an incredible selection of fabrics? I spent a few hours the other night looking through for these projects and a pack-n-play panel I'm making, and I was very happy with the thousands of options. The only drawbacks are you can't feel the fabric before buying and you have to pay shipping, but some projects don't require either. I'd definitely recommend amazon if you like to browse from home!

Rejuvenating Summer?

What feels like months later, I write again. With Blair home more these last few weeks I have enjoyed more activity but have had much less quiet and/or productive time to myself. Today though, he is working and I'll use Ava's afternoon nap for a little personal catch-up. The house desperately needs to be cleaned but the little voice in my heart is saying that I have some thinking to do.

Remember all those great ideas that I listed for how to rejuvenate myself this summer and beyond? I don't think I've implemented one save for the week I made delicious chicken salad for lunch. I've been too busy with the here-and-now to plan for any big changes to occur! And even with the increase in family time and possibly more time "off" from mommy duties (though it doesn't feel like it), I still find myself with an unspeakably small capacity for life in general. I have been waking up tired, frustrated a lot with whatever isn't going my way, feeling cheated out of time to myself or even the option to sleep when I want to sleep or whatever. Darn! I thought this would get better when Blair was home more and we were living the summer of my dreams. Alas, that's not the case. So this got me thinking... could it be that I'm missing something? A big piece to this puzzle of my unending exhaustion and sacrifice. Yes, I think so.

Not surprisingly, I have had almost zero time with God this last month. With no set time for him I'm really lacking in personal and spiritual growth. This has a lot to do with my immediate grudge-holding that Blair gets to sleep in when I don't, that I don't get a day off when I have a cold, that I don't have a lot of options anymore, that Ava isn't taking a good nap (like it's her fault?). And the list goes on. I know in my head that these things just come along with being a mom and I LOVE being a mom, and yet I find myself happy with it for about five minutes before Ava starts fussing or something else happens.

So... again, not surprisingly, I am finding myself in need of Jesus. It even hurts to admit it because sometimes it seems I would so much rather go through life self-sufficient and having people owe me something rather than the other way around. But this again, is not the case. How do I bridge that gap though between knowing that I need Jesus in my life everyday and not wanting to give up on all my demands? It feels like to soften and let God in to help me through these struggles will inevitably leave me having to do everything myself, having to sacrifice immeasurably and yet having to do so with a smile--a happy servant. That doesn't sound good to a tired mom. I know that isn't true though, that God's not asking me to sacrifice more than I can, but simply to stop demanding of Blair and Ava and myself what only he can provide--rest, sustenance, energy, life. Oh man. This is hard! When I am demanding there is the hope that someone might meet my demands and I'll get what I want, though the whole process is totally draining. God promises to meet my needs (therefore securing my hope) and that process of relying on him is supposedly actually energizing. Why am I fighting what seems to be an obvious choice? All those with similar struggles, feel free to chime in. In the meantime, this tired mom is going to make some kind of effort to turn to Jesus when it feels like everything is "up to me".

A Kathryn update

My eight minutes have turned into about eight seconds lately... I'm not sure how it happened but I have been busy! Blair has been home more this last week which has been wonderful, we even went out one day during one of Ava's naps (this is a shocker for me) and visited the duck pond on campus, did some shopping downtown and walked about ten miles. It feels so good to have some family time, some me-time and to just have an extra pair of hands around the house.

In keeping with the busyness, we are leaving Thursday for a trip down to my sister's for the weekend. We've had very limited time with my side of the family in the last year so we're hoping for some saturated cousin/aunt and uncle/grandparents time. Traveling is stressful for me because usually it means Ava doesn't sleep well and I have to make hard decisions about skipping or moving naps. Since Ava was born her naps have been a huge priority for me and we rarely skip one or nap outside the home. So... there's always a little anxiety about that before trips but I know in the grand scheme of things it is good for her (and me) and we'll have a great time! I love naps but in some ways am looking forward to the day when there are no naps to miss!

Yesterday we celebrated my second Mother's Day and it was a really great day. Blair made me breakfast in bed and I got up to pictures of Ava taped all over the house. It was so great to sort of celebrate Ava all day too, I spent much of the day remembering how great it's been to be her mom for the last 14 months and looking at pictures of her as a wee little baby. I love being a mom more than anything and it's fun to have a day not only to be celebrated for it but to be reminded that I have the best job in the world.