A Hopeful Outlet

Trusted friends. Welcome to my thoughts! This is my new blog--not a blog about Ava or my family (though I'm sure those will be frequently mentioned), just me. I've been struggling the past few months with many things, including being content, being joyful in uncertain circumstances, relying on God to meet my needs and figuring out my identity apart from my beautiful daughter. I love her more than anything but I'm ready to rejuvenate my passion for different things that don't include motherhood, to start thinking again about my own growth, not just hers, and to grow as a woman, not just a mom. The problem is, I feel like I get about eight minutes to myself during the day. During this time I will often update my facebook status to something usually resembling Ava's actual status instead of my own, or respond to an email or (shocker) take a shower. I understand that my life as a mom comes with limited alone time but what I'm not okay with is choosing to forfeit all things that make me me and keep me grounded in who I am. I'm SO thankful for the part of me that gets to be a mom, I wouldn't trade it for the world, but with all that comes with it I need to be reminded of who I am in the Lord, what I like, what I don't like, what I want to work on, what I want to learn, and how to find time to devote to those things.

So... this is my first attempt. I've hit my breaking point and it's time for an outlet. I'm open-minded as far as what this will be for me, starting with a place to share things I'm thinking about both emotionally, spiritually and creatively. There is comfort and accountability in knowing someone else may be reading this but I would like to begin with just trusted friends so I feel the freedom to share. This is also a tangible way for me to process through my thoughts which I desperately need right now in order for it to get done! Whatever it turns into, I hope you'll enjoy walking alongside me as I figure some things out (Lord willing).